Monday, October 23, 2006
Show your kids yes, team & can.
Do you want to know who holds the most shares of responsibility with the decline of young adults attitudes? Parents. Many of us don’t even recognize the damage we are doing until it’s too late and in the day and age where we have all but eliminated the essential adversities, the epidemic has reached disastrous proportions.
0-5. “No”. During the most critical imprinting years where the senses are operating at their fullest and absorbing everything, children hear one word more than all other words combined. No. Stands to reason by the time they reach those “terrible 2’s” they have learned to regurgitate the very data that has been inputted over the past 2 years.
5-10. “Mine”. Post ‘no stage’, we add possession to the equation. No + Mine becomes the thesis amongst many arguments that take place. This entitlement / me / i / reinforcement reinforces the very anti social behavior which confuses during the post secondary education quarter of life when we spit these programmed minds into a system that requires interaction.
No + Mine.
10-15. “Can’t”. The most subtly destructive word on the planet, can’t is used mainly by lazy people who won’t. Won’t take & make the time to educate alternatives. During the “pre teen years”, your child hears the word can’t with the frequency they once heard the word no. Stands to reason their frustration levels build as they try to disseminate the rationale for this constantly reinforced directive and get frustrated.
No + you / I + can’t.
15-20. “Fuck you”. It would stand to reason the rebellious stage would eventually come during these years when people are fed up with hearing No & You & Can’t. Now, unequipped to deal with many of the pressures and demands, the demographic unsuccessfully attempts to accomplish a multitude of things they are not equipped to accomplish because they have never been taught. They fail, but in failure the level of resentment comes flooding back from the told you so’s.
Fuck you + I will.
20-25. “Fuck me”. Post graduation and all of those ‘valuable lessons’ of studying by yourself, completing projects by yourself & figuring things out by yourself have taken an unfortunate toll. The young adult finds themselves in an ecosystem without the necessary coping mechanisms. Its akin to becoming what you fear most and many at this age, come to the realization that
Fuck Me + I + Am Not + The Shit.
25-30. [i]. “No I can’t” Full circle, we come back to where it all began as we spiral downward due to a complete lack of self actualization. You can spot the people from a mile away. Zero spark, self confidence or self esteem to make the necessary sound personal decisions. Some say this is early onset mid life crisis where people try to fill this hollow void with ‘things’, but the reality is it’s the actualization that the self fulfilling prophecy has been met.
I + Can’t + Do it.
25-30. [ii] “I can, I will, I am”. At least that’s what the therapist said and our young adults begin the process of self-discovery at 25-30. “Finding themselves”, they check out of the pressure cooker and get to experience the very adversity we [as parents] so erroneously sheltered them from and begin to live “their lives”.
I + Can + do it.
30++. Depending on the path, the rest of people lives roll out accordingly, yet the true test begins when they settle in to have children.
…When the cycle begins all over again.
· Do yourself a favor – Tell yourself yes, team & can
· Do your kids a favor – Show them the same.