Thursday, November 02, 2006

Stuck in a Moment?

The industry has gone platinum; self help, self healing, self exploration, introspection & aroma-spection with the intent of locating the conclusive ‘a-ha’ that will guide us into the tidy conclusion of our story. We all have a story.

If you sat down and wrote what would your story be about? Who would it reach and what message would it send? Who would listen and what credibility would you have to support your comments? Would it help you define who you are, why you do what you do, how you became what you have and what are you teaching others as a result of your life experiences?

So many of us journey through life unaware of our true gifts and talents because we are taught what we were supposed to be & do instead of experiencing what we want to be & do. Agreements from those we looked up to and trusted have (intentionally and unintentionally) jaded our perspectives and values as we struggle to make sense of it all. “Buy Nike, get grades, go to college, great job, move up, buy house, marry wealthy, invest money, take vacations, acquire assets, and retire wealthy”. Many of us are living stories that are not our own.

By nature we are hypocritical. Condoning actions when it suits us, we establish the gray area in which we operate to avoid the realities of decisiveness. When we look around and watch others, we can see them continuously polishing the surface of a rotten core. “fine… fine.. fine”. Today’s society is a mass of unsolved, incomplete problems……. repeating themselves. What does this mean for us? It means there are an infinite amount of untitled, unfinished stories that will never make it to the shelves or if they do – are filed in the ‘Groundhog Day’ (every day is the same day) section. It also means gridlock within the systems designed to keep things moving. A poignant illustration is the dysfunctional family, from which a high percentage of us evolve. The theme from this type of family revolves around what we can’t do.

The ‘what we can’t do’ record is played over and over again and so loud that even when your intention is to create a different environment than the one you were brought up in, you echo the same theme. Unless you break the cycle through introspection, communication and consistency, you will become what you fear. You will become what you fear because that’s all you know. You will pass your story down the line as a blueprint that others will follow. The solution – open your eyes. Survey your needs, wants and haves and if you deem necessary - Change.

Change requires accepting accountability that something was wrong in the first place and taking the responsibility to make a difference. Change starts inside and is the most powerful resource an individual has.

Blaming, faulting, resenting, undermining, whining or complaining happens outside and more often than not, does not help the author get to the conclusion of the story. From the time we are born, we are taught nothing is our fault and problems always seem to start from forces outside of our ‘rights’. In reality, if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Imagine if people had the ability to hold themselves accountable for all of their own actions what the world would be like.

We sit in admiration of those who create their own stories because it is those who create their own stories that stand out. “what a great story”, “isn’t that a good story” – sound familiar? Is it a coincidence that most of the great stories come on the heals of forced adversity? Is it a coincidence that those stories are the only stories worth reading on the shelf? The rest is the same stuff, different pen name and a different cover. You have the power to influence and impact many people in your lifetime, Anthony Robbins, Landmark, Steven Covey, your therapist, mentor, religious denomination or personal guru are not telling you anything you don’t already know, they are being consistent and simplifying the steps.

The first step is to understand that you are the author of your own autobiography and you can decided exactly how your story will read.

The second step is utilizing the hundreds of thousands of resources that are available and choosing the best one for you.

Draw your own conclusion.

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