Sunday, April 15, 2007

$400 moron.

I'm 35. numerically that makes me uncool and post-hip but today i found out people are paying $400 for a pair of jeans. i thought someone was shitting me.

now i'll preface that not only am i uncool, but i'm not a cool dresser either, so its not like i'm coming at anyone with tips or critiques from a place of 'be like me'. but at $400 per pair of jeans, i can assure all, i would never be like you.

you probably saw some attention seeking, narcissistic, did one good film, bottled perfume, made a song, got a star, went to rehab, came out worse Hollywood "role model" wear these things, which makes you think if you wear them - you can be like them but there's one difference.

they have money to waste and you don't. if you do, you shouldn't. you are not getting paid to wear those things, they are. take them off - take them back and pay your rent, or your car, or your phone, or give that money to someone less fortunate (who will certainly not buy $400 jeans).

yup, its uncommon anyone on this team will ever tell you what to and not to do, but i'm breaking out here. DON'T BUY ANY ARTICLE OF CLOTHING OVER $100. even if "it makes you feel better", send me a bio, give me a call and for half that, i'll make you feel great about yourself by telling you how good you are sans apparel.

for a split second, i thought of what i would say as a parent when my son walked in with a pair of jeans and a $400 bill. nothing came to mind. or an expensive "worn shirt" that looks like something we wore under our football equipment in 83. sure it reeks, but it isn't of coolness.

be happy being you. clothes don't define you and stuff shouldn't make you feel good. you should make you feel good. so spend the time you would walking around the malls, learning about what you wearing inside. you'll be 100 times cooler and you won't be broke.

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