Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Is it Right?

Relationships can & will be challenging - It is a fact.

People become unhappy and unsatisfied with what they have - It is a fact.

Here is why.

One of the biggest reasons stems from the fact that most of us (people) enter a relationship in order to get something. We are trying to find someone who's going to make us feel good (sexually, materialistically, emotionally, etc.).

Without knowing this, once the relationship has been established, the continuous search to make our selves satisfied and ‘happy’ is put on the responsibility of our partner – which should NOT be the case. This leads to the existence of power struggles – where one individual is consciously or unconsciously looking to gain control or domination over the other person in order to meet their own needs and requirements…hence, we hear “I am not happy”.

If this is YOU – guess what sweetheart…you aren’t happy because you aren’t happy with yourself!
So, stop looking for outside things to make you happy…your partner being one of them! Because in reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

If this is you, most of your life, you have probably tried to create an image, in fact, in most cases, a fake image of how you would like people to see you for what you are on the outside but in reality you are dying from the inside.

What is it that you are hoping to achieve from this? A result that will always be at your own expense? Because that is what you are going to get.

Look at your life and try to bring yourself back down to earth to enable yourself to evaluate your life accordingly. In relationships, knowledge is a progressive thing. And it starts with each of us on a personal level. It answers the basic question, how well do I know myself?

When you know who you are, you are more prepared to understand who your spouse/partner is. When you can clearly see your own strengths and weakness, you are much more capable of helping your partner understand who they are, including their unique strengths and weaknesses.

That said,

  • don’t try to take control of the relationship just to prove something to yourself, in order to fill the gap of something that is lacking.
  • don’t try to proclaim that he or she is manipulating your weakness or your self-confidence and use it as a weapon against you. This may be the case, but we do have responsibility for ourselves and should NOT allow for such treatment to take place.
  • don’t hold onto that previous experience that you went through and then be afraid of being hurt. "Letting go" to break yourself free by accepting the experience as being just an experience for what it really is, and most importantly, without keeping any bitterness in your heart which takes control of your current relationship. Just let go!


  • don’t look to try and change the exact person that you fell in love with because chances are they haven't changed...and if they have - they have probably grown to be better! it right?

You hold the answer to this or to any other question that you have.

Start looking at your relationship in a different way. Start with yourself and then look to make a change if you are not happy with what you got. After that it is up to you to make that change!

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