If you are a regular reader of swimupstream (which we hope you are and thank you our loyal readers), then you have heard about the 2 polar mentalities: victim and victorious. In other words, we often report that it is not what happens to you, but how you react - what you do to improve your lot in life, rather than 'what you get'. I stand by this 100%, but Tuesday this week at a seminar featuring Tony Robbins, I got a fresh perspective (which is of course what we try to offer daily)...
In addition to your attitude, and your aptitude to reacxt to what life gives you, we must also consider your view of the world. That is, sometimes choosing the right attitude is impossible given the expectations we have on ourselves, and what we expect from the world. I am referring to the way we are "hard-wired" or as the famous Tony Robbins says, our 'blueprint'.
Sometimes men are 'hard-wired' to believe that they must be able to support a family, and if they do not do this, then they are a monumental failure. Some women believe that if they do not get married by a certain age, or if they never have children, that they are not fulfilling their purpose in life. The point is, in addition to managing our attitudes in every given situation, we must also examine our attitude about our life; that is, what we define as success for ourselves and what we expect out of life.
If you define success by comparing yourself to others, you may be 'hard-wiring' yourself for failure... because success for that person may not be the same for you; and you may or may not be able to do the same things as them because you may not have the same skill set or the same interstes (passion).
The real take home message is: focus on you. What are you good at? What makes you happy? Other than financial (which only comes as an extension of success in other areas) how do you define success? Who do you want to be?
The sooner we get away from herding towards pre-defined models of success, and the sooner we ignore 'norms' set for us (not by us) in society, the sooner we get in touch with what we really want, and what would make us truly happy.
When we feel happy, it is only because our life situation is aligned with our goals/ wants/ needs/ desires. When we are unhappy, it is only because we are not measuring up to what we want/ what we said we would do/ how we think we should act or feel.
So stop 'hard-wiring' yourself for failure. If we stick with a computer analogy, YOU get to write the operations manual- you get to write the program. YOU get to define what YOU should do based on your goals and the legacy you wish to leave.
Time to crash the network, and re-wire it. Time to 'hard-wire' yourself for success by aligning your goals with who you want to be... and then it is time to act consistently with what you lay out and continue to choose a victorious attitude and a successful operating system (how you are 'hard-wired') every day.
Time to log on to your life they way YOU should live it!