Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Indecisive Mind

There are certain times in life that we come across forks in our paths and it's difficult to know which way to take. Sometimes the choices sound equally appealing, or have multiple factors to take into consideration. At this point, if we lack the confidence to go with our gut or lack an automatic decision making system - we fall into the category of being indecisive.

Creating and outlining your own decision making system will allow you to overcome your indecisiveness. And the first step and probably the most important step in creating this, is to make sure to never make a decision, especially a negative one, when you are angry, hurt, depressed, or frightened. Many times your ego will try to overdrive your more rational thinking and you may very well regret whatever decision it is that you made. If you have (and usually you do), take the time to calm down and start to feel better emotionally to assure yourself that you are in a clear thinking and feeling state.

When you are able to make a rational decision (because of limited emotion attached to the situation) begin to weigh all of your options. Write every aspect of the choices down so you can see them clearly. The process of writing everything down will help you think of other options that you may not have originally seen. Writing will allow you to get all your thoughts out of your head, as opposed to staying inside where they are competing for attention and possibly causing emotional turmoil. Your goal is to be calm and clear headed to reach your best decision.

When you have all aspects of the choices listed, then focus on the goals, challenges, and opportunities that you can find with all sides of the choices you are looking at. This will help you start to further define which choice will ultimately be in your best interest. Begin to list and expand on the different goals, challenges and opportunities. Take the time to talk with peers and professionals if you believe they can offer solutions. Search out and listen to those that have walked a similar path as they will have the best advice for you. These steps are excellent ways to find out if there are any other alternatives or aspects that you may not have thought to note earlier and should give you a good understanding of the implications of the choices you are faced with.

Sometimes a lot of thinking about making your decision may be confusing the matter and keeping you away from the most important decision making tool you have - Your intuition. Many people are trained to listen to what others have to say, like parents, teachers, or bosses so when it comes to make a decision (any for that matter) they cannot seperate what should and shouldn't be made by them. They lack the confidence to go with their own intuition and make a decision on their own - because they never have had to. So, for some it can be challenging to look for themselves and make the necessary steps to make that decision and go with their own gut. However, at some point it has to happen. And people have to learn to accept and mistakes or failures that result from their own decision because ultimately that is what is going to make them learn and grow.

In summary, define your choices, add all options and brainstorm with others. When you are finished with that part of the process, let go and allow your innermost self and subconscious to work on the decision for you. And then make it...don't wait because the opportunity that is presenting itself might no longer be there when you decide to move.

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