Monday, November 26, 2007

The LOWEST common denominators.

Two idiots have come onto our radar and provided us with great examples of how not to conduct our personal affairs. (these are not fables by the way)

Exhibit a: sales rep for a drug company.
One day a woman decides she isn’t going to report in for work. Instead, she sends her manager an email to the effect of “just came back from my doctor who’s advised me to take two weeks leave from work”. Concerned, her manager calls to ensure all is ok, as well as sends emails advising her not to worry, take time and get back to her when she’s ready.

Two weeks later, the manager follows up with this woman, who replies via email stating, she’s still “suffering from the stress of all the changes and needs another two weeks off” (thank god you don’t live in the middle east honey). At this point manager calls in HR who calls in outside advisory company to review the doctors notes and files. Post review, it’s determined this woman doesn’t have merit for such an extended leave and needs to report back to work. Message goes to company hr, then to manager, who passes it onto said employee.

A month goes by with no response. No return calls, no return emails, nothing until two months after the initial leave, comes a lawyers note suing the advisory company, hr & manager for harassment. Now the case will go to court where all of these people’s time and money will be wasted on a fucking idiot. Why should you care? Good question and it’s one I don’t think many people really take the time to understand. Take this case for example, who do you think absorbs the long term cost of this action. That’s right, end drug user – you & me. (just like the hike in coffee price bcs Susan spilled it on her lap when she sped away from the drive in coffee shop – and sued for it being too hot).

I have something to say on behalf of those of us in the world who still take responsibility for ourselves (and there are a few)
You are an embarrassment to you… hence, you are an embarrassment to us too. We hope you don’t have kids or come into any influential position of any sort bcs the very core of your fragile existence is corrupt and we don’t need your virus.

Exhibit b: wealthy debutant.
One day while touring through this mans house, we stumble upon his “man’s room”. Bar, pool table, poker lights and leather chairs all set in a backdrop of what appears to be an amazon jungle. Stuffed heads of exotic animals line the room like some sort of sick trophy case.



“Shot em all myself” he says. “They have these great game reserves where you can hunt anything you want”. “Some of these are endangered species you know?”

Well aren’t you Wyatt fucking Erp. Let me get this straight. You waltzed into 40 square acres with a high powered rifle, trapped a wild extinct animal into a corner of the fence, shot it, stuffed it, mounted in on your wall – threw it’s hide at the foot of your bed and called yourself a hunter? We can only pray that one day in some planet far away, there are 3 headed aliens playing tiddlywinks in front of your stuffed ignorant melon bcs you …are an idiot too. The biggest problem with you is that there are so many of you, you won’t ever likely be endangered.
And hey, if ever your single, we’ve got a great gal for you – used to be a drug rep.

Now people, we just cannot continue to behave like this. Stated early & often through swimupstream, the world isn’t our Oyster! That’s simply bad marketing trying to get us to feel right in spending our money on what they are pitching. We have a responsibility (look that up you two) bcs it delves into greater significance than ‘I & ME”.

There are too many examples of like stupid acts making their way into mainstream acceptability and we for 5 will not say nothing while you act the fool.

Smarten up… ass.

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