Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Blurry Mirror
If you have read swim upstream, or you have read, seen or heard anything else about leading yourself, you have heard the sage advice that you need to be able to "look in the mirror".
What does this mean?
Well, if we are willing - it means the ability to take a long, hard look at oneself.
Why am I here?
Why am I the way I am?
Why do I continue to do things that I wish I would change?
Why am I not happier?
What am I really good at?
What positives do others see that I don't?
Why does so-and-so have so much faith in me?
What makes me great?
What makes me happy?
Questions like this help to guide our life in a more conscious, active direction towards fulfillment, purpose, and our ultimate potential; and steer us away from repeating cycles of behaviour, repeating mistakes, and limiting growth.
That is; if we actually look in the mirror. and we ask the right questions. and we do so unbiased (if that is possible). and we open our minds and our hearts to the answer(s).
I was having a conversation with 2 women this morning who are close friends. They were both talking about not being where they want to in life, from an overall balance and success standpoint.
When I asked them what cycles of behavior they were repeating, and what they NEEDED to change about themselves, they both said "I don't know"... yet they both chimed in for each other and said "I know EXACTLY what you need to change and why". These women have known each other for almost 30 years, and so were the perfect sounding boards for each other. When one couldn't see the mirror clearly, the other one figuratively wiped the condensation off the mirror, revealing exactly what was to be seen.
For one, putting others ahead of herself and feeling guilty for pursuing her own goals. She felt she owed everything to everyone and that she had no right to do something positive for herself without quantifying it or justifying it...
For the other, self sabotage which stemmed from being uprooted 17 times by the age of 19 - every time any stability or happiness that could be taken away came into her life, she panicked and engaged in one form or another of self sabotage to keep her (even if unhappily) within the conditions she was used to... she was fearful of success.
It was amazing to have the other friend right there; as the one girl I've been working with for 2 years, and the other for 3 days... yet here we are with all the cards on the table and nowhere to hide from the truth.
It takes a brave soul to face their demons; I mean really face them - because now these girls will have to make the changes, whatever that takes, or admit weakness and failure to themselves and actively decide to resist the process; because the issues are past the subconscious.
It was a great moment for all 3 of us, and great inspiration and hope for anyone that at your most vulnerable moment possible - there was no judgment, only support and reassurance.
Surround yourself with people who can a) help uncloud the mirror and b) accept you for what is really there. Those become the most profound relationships you will have in your life; and you will have someone with you (even if in spirit) every step of your journey, as you will be their for theirs.
Two people I know cut past the facade and REALLY decided to live today.
If your mirror is a little blurry, may you realize that and be inspired today.
If you've had help clearing your mirror and are on your way to making profound changes in your life, hopefully today's story brought a smile to your face and helped give you some motivation to keep plugging away...
because that mirror can cloud or clear daily based on our actions and decisions my friends... let's all try and be a little more transparent.