Monday, May 25, 2009

It's not about them..

When embarking on new challenge, goal, making positive changes in your life, etc it’s important to have the support of those closest to you – friends, family, co-workers, etc. They should really WANT to see you succeed and accomplish what you set out to do. Cheer you on; help you out, offer advice, tips, etc. They should be happy for you. This is not only important but vital for your own success and happiness.

Too often though, the should be supporter will make it about them. Maybe it’s jealousy of seeing that person find a new ‘thing’, get fit, lose weight, finally get the confidence they haven’t had, etc. Well guess what – it’s not about them, it’s about YOU. You are the one making the changes, sacrifices, etc. YOU are the one who’s doing this for yourself. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling guilty or bad for making the necessary changes in your life. It’s not about them. If you feel good doing it, and you feel it’s the right move – then it is and that’s all that counts.

It’s really too bad; because in making it about them, the other person takes the opportunity away to strengthen the relationship you have. And really, a true friend, or someone who does care legitimately about you – should really want to help you get to your goal. They should be happy for YOU, not selfish and making it all about them and what they are lacking.

What about when confronting someone from your past? Maybe a friend who didn’t treat you very well, or a family member – and you feel the need to get something off your chest. How often does it happen that the person on the other end listens to what you have to say and just acknowledges it? Most likely not, instead they blame, justify, make excuses, tell you that you’re blowing it out of proportion..etc, etc. Essentially making the situation about them. Guess what – again, it’s about YOU! The other person is going to react and be put off; but end of the day – that shouldn’t matter. If you’ve said your 2 cents, confronted what needed to be confronted, and left feeling lighter and better about yourself – then mission accomplished.

Basically; those in our life need to support our positive decisions; ALL of them. And if they don’t – that’s ok, it happens- but we can’t dwell on it or stop doing what we are doing. If you are doing what’s right for you at that time – keep on doing it, because it is all about YOU. And maybe find new friends, partners, etc. Bring people into your life who truly care about you, and get drop those that make it about them… at least until they realize selfish they actually are

No comments: