Wednesday, December 02, 2009

A Scoreless Win

Before you read today's blog, take a few minutes to consider your close relationships. They could be friendships, your spouse, a partnership in business, or extended family.

As you think of each person in turn, no doubt your mood and perhaps even your facial expression will change. The reason is that of course, you find some relationships more rewarding than others. Now while it's true you can choose your friends and not your family - sometimes we remain friends with people long after the mutual benefit to that relationship has ceased.

It is in that context I want you to read today's entry... relationships that are mutually beneficial. For a relationship to be truly mutually beneficial; both parties must a) be unharmed by the association and b) must derive at least some benefit.

If you give, and your partner takes - that is by definition a one-way relationship.
Now while not all relationships will enrich our soul, they must at least benefit us.
Whether it's a business boost, someone who makes you laugh, someone who teaches you; you must find some benefit to associating with each person in your life. And of course - you must bring something to the table.

If you don't know what you are bringing to another person- ask. Communication is one of the most common sources of relationship breakdown, and this conversation is either going to cease an unproductive relationship, or deepen it. Either way it's a positive.

One thing you don't have to do (rather, shouldn't have to do) is nickel and dime that friendship. The best friendships to have are those that both parties feel like giving, and aren't worried about what they're getting. If you're not keeping score on the relationship, even if it's not 50/50 it's at least reciprocal in some way. That, my friends, is what we can call a scoreless win.

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