Tuesday, August 10, 2010
In our increasingly scrutinized ‘perfect’ world it seems that no act (big or small) should not go unlinked to an obvious source or reason. The blame game has been around longer than Newton’s 3rd law and is the backbone of most media sensationalism.
First you have the act. It can be as benign as spilling a cup of coffee in your lap as you’re driving or as sensational as a flight attendant jumping out of an airplane but one thing we know for sure is after the story airs, there’s going to be a lot of inference, accusation and (you guessed it) blame. Lost in the blameology are two very important realities of life.
1. sh*t happens. We know, hard to believe random acts of mischief, turmoil and bad stuff can just ‘happen’ and well... probably won’t be prevented from happening again
2. the further away we get from taking personal responsibility for our actions, the more problems (and subsequent blaming) we are likely to see (and unfortunately) hear
Does the act of blaming have an argument? More often than not, chances are it doesn’t. See for something to go wrong, usually a string of unfortunate circumstances has had to come into play. Seldom, is it a single act and if we are truly interested in preventing a tragedy or event from recurring we would have to investigate every single circumstance and then make a swooping change. That takes time, isn’t interesting and costs money so instead, the faster we can pin the blame on ‘a’ reason or ‘a’ person, the faster we can get back into the blame game.
How does the blame game affect you.
1. limits the options and opportunities you may have. eg: unattended kid falls in the park pool, parent blames the park for not being kid proof, pool gets closed or is so tightly regulated it’s not fun.
2. costs you money. eg: the twit who spilled coffee in her lap and then sued for millions? Well, recouping that millions will inevitably be paid for by you. Each time you take a sip or your $5 coffee with your double cup and hand protector, you’re paying the tab of a blamer you don’t already know and her brilliant lawyer.
3. prevents us from personal growth. The REALity is, no one is perfect and we are going to make mistakes. If we we not so heavily scrutinized on each mistake we made and instead turned them into learning opportunities, we may actually LEARN more. Instead, we default and deflect that opportunity and place it somewhere or on someone else. This results in less people taking risks for fear of making a mistake and slows down the process of GROWTH.
It time to look at changing some of the rules in the blame game and that starts with us!