You see it every day, and it goes something like this: a friend calls you up, and says they need your advice. They tell you the situation, then ask you what you think they should do. After the suggestion is dispensed, they then proceed to say "Yes, but..." and go on to justify to themselves what they had already decided they were going to do anyway. At this point, it goes one of three ways (depending on how much energy you feel like wasting):
- You agree with them, and they say "That's what I thought, too...".
- You argue your point, they say "Yes, but..." about 20 more times, then they go off and do what they wanted to do in the first place - they just don't feel as good about it.
- Or, you argue your point - and they listen to you.
I have a simple solution. Don't ever allow yourself to say "Yes, but...". Even if you disagree COMPLETELY, remember - you asked for the advice. Stop, close your mouth, roll over what's been said a couple of times, and then use it or dismiss it outright... frankly, it doesn't matter. Just don't argue.
You may or may not ever listen to anyone other than yourself - but at least your time is the only time that's been wasted.