Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Vancouver on the Brink


Since I don't know how to make a catchy Canuck parody of a top 40 song, I will dust off my 7th grade poetry skills to mark this day...

Vancouver on the Brink - April 18, 2012

In Ornskoldsvik the children play hockey all day,
"I wanna be like Danny and Hank" they say.
Art Ross, Hart, and President's Trophies, all won at a clip,
One gap on the mantel, one cup left to tip.

Enter Duncan Keith and the Blackhawks. Why, I oughta!
Thought that series last year woulda taught ya.
That cheap shot started players a sparring,
When Danny's frontal lobe took an unfortunate jarring.

Now our hopes seem to rest on Kassian and crew,
Forgive me if I ask, "sorry... on who?"
Yeah, you remember - Cody Hodgson was traded,
Sami and Zack were paraded (we'll call it "Playoffs Take 2!")

Three games now without the twin magic,
Shakespeare himself would call it quite tragic.
Sure, together the sum exceeds two,
Alas, results show one red-headed Swede just won't do.

Word on the street is that Lu and Schneids just ain't Quick,
And that Burr and Lapierre, well... they're pricks.
Round the league our Nucks are widely hated,
At home our Cup dreams for now are abated.

And thus Canuck Nation leaps off the bandwagon,
When one short year ago we "slayed the dragon".
Now those dreams of a rematch with Chara,
On hold like a cheap shirt at Zara.

Condo dwellers in a rainforest unite!
This deathly pall on the city's a blight!
Back on with your jersey and paint your face blue,
Cuz this series, remember, ain't through...

However, If tomorrow we rise and it's over,
Let's hope we kept ourselves sober.
Burning squad cars, broken windows and tear gas,
A fading memory of a playoff long past.


~ Meyrick Jones

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