Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Stay strong as you move along

Last week a friend says you’re not long with people are you? to which I immediately answered - nope. Call it harsh, sociopathic, tie it to a past life event, or slip in the synonyms honest & efficient, it doesn’t really matter to me. 

It is a personal belief that the point in time when someone’s contribution no longer benefits myself in a positive, progressive manner OR I no longer benefit them in a positive, progressive manner – it’s time to move along. In theory, it’s the same practice a purging mementos & keepsakes that no longer provide the emotional or practical value. Chances are you either are or aren’t of this personality type.

Challenge for some is theory doesn’t factor in emotion. More often than not, transitions are accompanied by emotion. Too much emotion. As I’ve aged I’ve learned a few things about carrying that emotion and;

  • better appreciate the value of the past experiences vs. the mindset of not all or nothing.   
  • realize not all relationships in life will be and/or need to be forever.  
  • do not invest energy on things that are out of my control.
Seems like 3 easy bullets, but it’s not. It's hard work. The nature of our jobs affords us the privilege of meeting people in the transition stages of their lives. Be it a customer who’s ready to transition to a healthier lifestyle or a young person who’s ready to transition from the university to career stage of life, our small role is to help, guide, lead & mentor them using our acquired skill set. During that process there are going to be natural points of alignment with people. Some may be stronger. Others may last longer but eventually there will come a point in time where the dynamic changes and that change can & should be embraced. Experts suggest avoiding personal & professional crossover and I have to say from my short experience, I agree. Most of us are fortunate enough to have family & friends as our supporting cast and from time to time – we will welcome guest appearances which adds both variety, perspective and enjoyment. 

The point here is threefold;

  1. don’t waste energy begrudging past relationships that are no more. Appreciate the positives, take the lessons and reflect on value of them as you carry on.  
  2. understand you don’t have or need multiple BFF’s in your life FOREVER AND EVER. As long as you have 1 (starting with yourself), you’ll be just fine. From there, everything else is a bonus.
  3. as you age, the people who you keep company with is going to change. Embrace that change as both the person on the changing and changed end of the dynamic and seek to understand why. 
There’s too much out there for us to enjoy and too little time for us to spend not enjoying it.

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