Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Conforming to the look.

Had a lengthy conversation with a good friend on the topic of plastic surgery last week. It was interesting to hear the perspective relating to woman, from a woman and learn about the various forces & pressures at play that lead to the decision to and/or not to embark on the procedures. Sheer coincidence, I came across a news clip on the same topic from Frances McDormand who seemed to share the same views.

As a male, I can't accurately hypothesize about how I would feel or what decisions I would make. I generally advocate doing things that make you feel good or better about yourself. With that, I also agree it can become a slippery slope and wonder about the forces that drive the decision to have repeat procedures. What's really going on here? After more thought & discussion, I came up with five conclusions, not specifically relating to plastic surgery and woman, but society as a whole through this example & lens. 
  1. We've become shallow. We formulate decisions and project judgements on things that don't matter at the same time as dismissing important things that do.
  2. We've become less confident. Strip away the bullshit bravado, we spend a great deal of time being "educated / conditioned" to think, act & behave according to a prescribed norm. That's not how to gain confidence.
  3. We're a product of dysfunction. How can we gain confidence, if it's not being modeled on a consistent basis during the formative imprinting & learning years? Dysfunction normally begets more dysfunction.
  4. We're programmed to tune into headlines & highlights so think that's what we're supposed to be doing too. We spend time ON the present, but are we really maximizing our learning IN the present or is there always something better around the corner?  
  5. We tend to sacrifice the magic and beauty of who we are, for the unknown allure of who we think we're supposed to be. In doing that, we take ourselves further from authenticity and what made us great in the first place.
Back to my limited experience in working with many woman, I saw & listened to some of the insecurities, fears & pressures relating to what many described as a loss of identity. It's unfair, it's unfortunate and I would not trade my beer drinking, jean wearing, stomach extending simple man's life for it. Ever. I think society can be hard on a lot of people, but it's particularly hard on woman. 

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